Humans are creatures of habit. I am no exception, if not a slightly exaggerated version of the human with which that turn of phrase is referring to. My whole life seems to have been a constant state of maintaining an obsessive (semi)control over all of my other various habits and quirks. I remember as a child, how quickly my room would fill with clutter from all the various projects I would attempt. Most of which were never completed.
In fact, it seems my habit growing up was to bite off more than I could chew, as I desperately tried to cling to anything as a temporary representation of who I thought I was. My friends, and I around the neighborhood would start various ‘business’ ventures, such as: dog walking, lawn care (raking, mowing, etc), we even opened up a library in my room. It wasn’t until I found happiness in creating, that I began honing in on my favorite habit; music.
Creating music started as most of my habits do: a means of escapism, and in some way, I guess that hasn’t changed much. I was in a rocky relationship when I first started writing music I was proud of, and I was finding out that I could really sort a lot of things together within the context of a melody. As the relationship became more and more toxic, my time spent hiding away from the world with a guitar became more, and more frequent.
I began to day dream about music, and find my mind wandering in classes, or at work. I would be at one place physically, while my mind was stuck thinking about the next thing I wanted to write about. My grades started slipping. My relationship got worse. I probably would have lost all my friends if they weren’t in the same boat as me. I hadn’t quite learned how to juggle yet.
This is the catch-22 of crafting passion out of your habits. If you’re going to be creating anything worth a damn, it’s going to require a lot of focus from you, and could very well affect your life, relationships, and job. I’ve notoriously blown off scheduled plans, because I got caught up in my song writing process, or slept in too late for something because my ideas kept me up all night.
Now I guess the question is: is your habit worth it? I guess that depends on what it is your habit gives you. Is it a healthy habit, a bad habit, or maybe even somewhere in the middle? Have the sacrifices you made for it been worth it? Do you indulge your habits to merely escape from something else? If you don’t know the answer, then do some personal digging for yourself. Find the why. Why do you have this habit, and how long have you had it? Life is all about self-improvement, and moving forward, so take some time today to reflect on any ways you could make your habits healthier.
This whole article sort of became a weird thing at the end here, but I think it’s pretty cool. The healthiest thing I ever did was attempt to become hyper-aware of myself, and my intentions behind every action I make, and in writing about anything in regards to bettering one-self, it’d be false to not mention personal growth anywhere. So yeah, I don’t know… maybe that’ll be a theme with these. Ways of betterment. That could be cool, or possibly obnoxious. Either way, I’ll give it a go. It could be my next habit.
written by nick long